


Lost Booty (EXO Pirate AU)

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Destiny, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, I'm writing this instead of studying for my ap test tomorrow, M/M, Pirates, Sailors, Soulmates, adventure i guess, baekhyun is kinda dumb, chanyeol is kinda weird, idk I hope you like, old timey pirate dialogue, other hinted ships - Freeform, please give it a chance, they buried treasure but another stole it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:26:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24194293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Baekhyun could feel his heart drop in his chest as he stared at the hole he had just dug in the ground. The empty hole. The hole that was empty save for this odd note that read:“Ahoy, Baekhyun, you sexy ass buccaneer! I shall never forget that magical night we spent together. Thank you for the wondrous time, and for this. I was devastated when I awoke that morning and you were nowhere to be found, but it’s alright. I’m simply so charming you will have to come back to me anyway. Ye see, ‘twas destiny that we met and me thinks ‘tis destiny that we stay together forever as well. If you are reading this, go back to where we first saw each other. From, your favorite sexiest fucking dumbass son of a biscuit eater.” (Yes, this is chanbaek)
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Kudos: 5
Collections: exo





	1. THIS SHIT IS EMPTY!

Baekhyun could feel his heart drop in his chest as he stared at the hole he had just dug in the ground. The _empty_ hole. The hole that should not be empty at all but here it was, painfully and terrifyingly empty. He had definitely not seen this coming.

“Oy mate, ye been standing there starin’ at the hole long enough,” Jongdae said from where he was lazing on the ground with Minseok while Baekhyun had slaved away at digging. He walked up to the other boy, slinging an arm around his shoulders, only to look down into the hole and realize what he was supposed to see was not there.

“Blimey! A fucking bilge sucking rapscallion must’ve found it!!” he exclaimed. 

“Oy! What do you mean a fucking bilge sucking rapscallion must’ve found it?” Minseok yelled, running up to them in confusion only to trip and fall into the hole. 

“SHIVER ME TIMBERS, THIS SHIT IS EMPTY!!” 

“No way, we just realized.” Baekhyun deadpanned, voice dripping with sarcasm. Meanwhile, next to him, Jongdae was seething with rage. 

“We put it right here. How could someone have found it already? For fuck’s sake, it’s only been two months! ”

“The scurvy dog that found it must be having the time of his life right now.” Minseok muttered, still inside the hole, covered in dirt that he was trying to blink out of his eyes, “It was our best booty; overflowing with doubloons!”

It had taken weeks for them to sail out here, to this obscure little island, only to find that what they had stolen had again been stolen from them. He simply could not believe this. What was he going to tell the rest of the crew who were still aboard The Devil’s Dorado? But more importantly, how had someone even known where they had buried their booty? 

“Well, sink me ‘cause I think I found something,” Minseok said suddenly, crouching near a corner of the hole, a piece of parchment in his hands. He traced his dirt covered fingernails over the words and read out loud. Baekhyun and Jongdae were too curious to even interrupt.

“Ahoy, Baekhyun, you sexy ass buccaneer! I shall never forget that magical night we spent together. Thank you for the wondrous time, and for this. I was devastated when I awoke that morning and you were nowhere to be found, but it’s alright. I’m simply so charming you will have to come back to me anyway. Ye see, ‘twas destiny that we met and me thinks ‘tis destiny that we stay together forever as well. If you are reading this, go back to where we first saw each other. From, your favorite sexiest fucking dumbass son of a biscuit eater.”

Once he was done reading, they both expectantly stared at him, waiting for an explanation. 

“What the fuck?” however, is all Baekhyun could say. 

“Aye, that is what we should be saying as well, Baekhyun. Care to explain this?”

Baekhyun closed his eyes and sighed, rubbing his temples. Who the hell was his “favorite sexiest fucking dumbass son of a biscuit eater”?

And then, all of a sudden, he remembered flashes of a night a while back when they’d stopped at a port to patch up the ship, when Baekhyun had gone and managed to get himself drunk; and he remembered a man accidentally bumping into him, his rum spilling all over Baekhyun’s shirt. 

_“You fucking dumbass son of biscuit eater!_ ” he’d yelled, already sick of being on land. And he remembered something else, too. He remembered that man: tall and muscular, big eyes and big ears, like an overgrown puppy.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun whispered, and then louder, “Guys, it’s Chanyeol! I’ll explain when we get back on the ship but we need to go now.” He reached down and with Jongdae’s’s help managed to pull Minseok out of the hole before hurrying back to the ship together. God, Baekhyun was not looking forward to what was going to come next. 


	2. TO HAI TAC!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terrified for my AP test tmrw I legit haven't studied. Lord help me, I need a 5. Why is it that I write only when I have a huge test or project the next day that I need to be spending my time on instead...

“Oy, why are yer hands empty? Where’s the booty?” Luhan yelled the moment they’d climbed on board. The three of them could only stare at their feet, ashamed. Well, only Baekhun was ashamed. This was entirely his fault. He mentally slapped himself for not heeding Minseok’s warning about booze that day. Meanwhile, Luhan crouched on the ground, observing it, and after a few moments got up again. 

“I don’t see any answers on the deck so I don’t get why yer all starin’ at it. Matter o’ fact, it’s dirty,” he said, voice growing dangerously quiet as he stared at the three of them, “Tell me why yer hands are empty or I’ll clean the deck with yer ugly faces.”

Minseok pulled the parchment out of his pocket, timidly leaning forward to hand it to Luhan. Deciding it was time to explain, Baekhyun's words tumbled out of him all at once.

“When we’d stopped to patch up the Devil's Dorado, I had just finished mapping the location we buried our loot, captain. And they had very strong rum. I had too much and I slept with this man. And he must have seen the map and copied it, captain, but I swear captain that I did not think this would happen. I only realized now that such a thing could have occured. Captain, I am so so sorry I swear I never intended for this to-”

But he was cut off by Luhan who had put up a hand, demanding silence, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. 

“I would make ye walk the plank or cleave ye to the brisket ye scallywag, but it seems we can’t reclaim our loot without the things ye know. Consider yerself lucky that yer life is spared till now,” he said, coldly, his three gold teeth glinting in the afternoon sunlight, “Now, where be the spot?”

“Wherever we docked after we were attacked by The Red Heathen, Captain.”

He nodded curtly before cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling, “HAUL WIND AND SET SAIL TO HAI TAC!” And just like that the crew bustled to life, ropes pulled, navigations set, sails unfurled. No questions asked. Everyone trusted Luhan.

“Minseok, Jongdae, don't just stand there. Go help set the route,” Luhan waved them away, and then tossed a mop and bucket to Baekhyun. ”I shall call a meeting later. You will explain. Till then, get this deck clean.”

Baekhyun obeyed. He just hoped that Luhan would keep him even after they got their loot back. _This was all that idiot’s fault,_ Baekhyun thought. A fucking dumbass son of a biscuit eater indeed. He'd never hated anyone more than he hated Chanyeol in that moment, except maybe the people that had given birth to him.

***

Baekhyun’s bones ached and he was so exhausted but finally, _finally,_ the deck was clean. He leaned back to admire his handiwork, only to watch with horror as a drunken and possibly ill Yifan walked in and barfed all over it. He scrunched his nose in disgust. 

“Ye fuckin’ scallywag, why don’t ye just barf over board and fall over board while yer at it?” he snapped. Yifan just gave him a lazy smile as he messily wiped the last off the vomit of his lips and stumbled away, hopefully towards their doctor, Zitao. Baekhyun groaned in annoyance at the asinine fools that were his crewmates, but then he remembered that he was no better. In fact, he was probably worse. A sigh escaped his lips when he heard Luhan call everyone in for a meeting. 

“Ye royally fucked up, Baek,” Jongdae chuckled when he saw him, “Yer such a carouser. Can’t believe we’re only hearing about this Chanyeol you slept with now.”

“I didn’t remember it myself! Aarrgh, when I get my hands on that asshole I swear I will rip him apart with my daggers.”

“Aye, matey, yer totally right. Bet ye won’t be rippin’ up _his_ asshole with yer _other_ dagger instead,” Minseok said with a lewd smirk, joining their conversation. Baekhyun only scoffed. He can’t remember much from that night but he doubted that man had even been decent in bed. Definitely not worth the mess it had gotten them all into. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carouser: someone who drinks in excess and then becomes loud and reckless


	3. frog guts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't wait for school to be over, I'm so sick of all the dumb hw and projects and tests and ugh save me

Having explained the reason they were in this situation to the rest of the crew, Baekhyun was now receiving a variety of reactions from people, ranging from disappointment to anger and to the people like Minseok and Jongdae who found it absolutely hilarious. And then there was Zitao, whom he was sitting in front of now. 

“How much do ye remember?” he asked, rummaging through the cluttered drawers of his office. Baekhyun didn’t like his office much. It always smelled odd; sometimes like blood, other times like seaweed, and today like rotting fish. You’d think that as a pirate he would be used to less than pleasant odors but something about these medicines was different. They had a tang of this sickly sweet scent that he could almost taste. It was disgusting. To distract himself, he picked up a small vial of what was labelled frog guts (looked like it, too) and twirled it around in his fingers.

“I remember the man, Chanyeol, and kind of what he looked like. He spilled rum on me and I yelled at him. I was already kind of drunk. That’s all,” Baekhyun said. Zitao just nodded, taking his hands in his and rubbing oil over it. It smelled like the fields that Baekhyun had played in when he was a child. 

"Wildflowers?”

“Aye, that and some other things too,” he said, finishing up and patting Baekhyun’s hands, “ It's an old recipe my grandmother taught me. Helps you remember.” He leaned closer and massaged the oils onto Baekyun’s temples as well, telling him to relax, and to remember. 

But then Baekhyun began to remember things he’d been trying to forget.

_ Warm lips on his, slightly chapped, not even letting him break for air, but Baekhyun didn’t need air. Just those lips. Rough hands on his waist, soft fingers in his hair, no space, just a dark closet. And then light, the terrible light, and his father’s face, first shocked and then disgusted as he dragged Baekhyun out, threw him to the ground. And his mother, crying from the doorway, yelling, screaming, asking how he could do this to her. The man in the closet, scared, but Baekhyun couldn’t help him. He couldn’t help him and that man couldn’t help Baekhyun either. Couldn’t save him from the pain, the welts that rose on his arms, the blood that spilled from his legs as he begged them to stop, but they didn’t. They didn't stop. _

_ “We need to beat it out of him,” they told his father, “Otherwise it won’t leave.” His father nodded, tears in his eyes, leaving the room but not before telling Baekhyun he was sorry. So sorry, but if he was sorry then why did he leave him there with those people? _

Baekhyun was shaken out of his vivid memory by big, warm hands. A deep voice, so concerned, and big eyes, so worried.

“Baekhyun? Baekhyun ye started crying and shaking and I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, Baekhyun are ye alright?”

But what could he do? He could only cry, and cry he did, soaking Zitao’s shirt as the doctor held Baekhyun in his arms. And eventually he told Zitao that it was ok, it wasn’t his fault, that he was alright now and then he stumbled off to his tiny cabin to find solace in sleep. 

***

“AHOY BAEK, UP UP UP YE GOT STUFF TO DO TODAY!” Jongdae yelled, banging his fists on Baekhyun’s door and forcing him awake. Baekhyun covered his eyes with his palms, still exhausted.

“I’LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE,” he yelled back, rolling off the bed and getting changed as quickly as he could. His cabin was hot and stuffy so he decided to abandon his boots. He was going barefoot and no one could stop him. But Baekhyun soon realized that was a bad idea when the moment he stepped onto the deck, he slipped and fell. 

“What a dumbass,” Yifan laughed from where he was adjusting the ropes. Baekhyun didn’t bother getting up just yet, instead feeling relieved for the cool feeling of his now wet clothes against his skin.

“Good morning to you too. How much longer till Hai Tac?”

“I reckon ‘bout another two days. Why, you excited to see Chanyeol?”

Baekhyun’s only response was a good kick to Yifan’s kneecaps before moving to the board and taking up his lookout post. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Graysky905 and two guests for leaving kudos! :) <3


End file.
